Maybe. Orange coconut cake filled with raspberry jam and vanilla pastry cream will help you channel your subconscious desire for chaos.
Maybe. Sharing the recipe for my cornmeal chocolate chunk cookie might serve as a welcome distraction from endless covid testing lines and intensifying anxiety.
No. Toasted black sesame ice cream did not help me reconcile my twin impulses of burning ambition and abject laziness.
Maybe. Black cocoa brownies with roasted hazelnuts and whipped cream might save you from a dramatic meltdown.
No. Strawberry spoon cake with malted vanilla ice cream and balsamic roasted sesame did not keep me from prioritizing immediate gratification over my long term health and well being.
No. Spiced cinnamon rolls with brown-butter cream cheese frosting did not stop me from worrying that I’ll forever remain a mediocre generalist with “proficient at excel” and “conversational Spanish” as my legacy.
Maybe. Old fashioned doughnuts with lime glaze and rose will help you construct an identity outside of Instagram.
Maybe. Spicy peanut butter cookies filled with miso dulce de leche will summon your most peaceful self.
No. Raspberry lemon panna cotta in the shape of a brownstone did not keep my anxiety from corroding any facade of normalcy.
No. Lemon olive oil polenta cake with vanilla whip and raspberries did not stave off these unrelenting isolation blues.
No. Ginger snacking cake with orange crème fraîche did not help me break free of this hypercapitalist hellscape wherein my self-worth is determined by how fast I can accomplish bullshit.
No. Dark chocolate layer cake with hazelnut pastry cream and raspberry jam did not stop me from hiding my insecurities behind a veneer of blustering self-assurance.
No. Croissant scrap kouigan-amann filled with honey raspberry cream did not inspire me to resist temptation.
No. Brown butter raspberry financiers with pistachio glaze did not rid me of the belief that if I ignore my responsibilities for long enough they will actually disappear.
No. Brioche rolls do not replace intimacy.
Maybe. Scallion biscuits with goat cheese and cheddar will help you tune out the feeling that your life, like Mercury, is once again in retrograde.